Scars and Stripes

Scars and Stripes

I see you Mama for all your beauty. That crescent scar deep below your belly is a beautiful smile that shines with pride. That scar didn’t come easy or heal with ease. You felt the intense pushing and pulling of your body beyond the curtain. Shaking from the medication, uncertainty and fear of what the outcome would be. Anticipating your babies cry… “Please cry.” Finally, her cry! It’s a girl!! You see your baby quickly as they raise her above the curtain – beautiful! She’s whisked away. You’re still shaking; there’s no more fear, but you want your baby. You don’t get that instant skin to skin you imagined you would. You hear “19 inches!” “5 pounds, 12 ounces!” Daddy leaves your side to be with your baby. He comes back with the most beautiful little bundle you’ve ever seen. They place your sweet sweet baby on your chest and you do your best to hold her with I.V.s and tubes attached and tangled around you.

Fatigue. You’re suddenly so tired Daddy takes the baby for you. He goes with the baby – somewhere else, they’ve left the room. They’re still working on you. “How much longer?” No real answer. They put blankets on you to hopefully ease the shakes but no, you’re still trembling.

Black. You wake up in a stall, Hot! There’s something hot on your legs, you try kicking them off, the nurse stops you. They’re compression socks to prevent clotting. Great. Baby is next to you in a clear crib. They sit you up slowly and finally you can hold your little baby, skin to skin. Your family is all around you. Finally everything feels perfect. You get to rest for a day, but they’ll get you up on day 2 to walk around. You’re hazy from so much pain medication, but the pain is so much worse. You’ll be on pain meds for a few weeks, slowly healing, having to carefully watch how quickly you get up to answer your babies cry 50 times a day. People will say your cesarean was the easy way, but you know better. Birthing your baby is never an easy task, no matter how it happens. Look at your beautiful crescent scar as a testament to your strength.

And all those new stripes on your tummy, sides, thighs, boobs and booty came from beautiful and amazing growth. You grew a little human inside of you! You’re a freakin’ miracle! Your body became beautifully round and plump in ways you never imagined. Maybe you didn’t always feel it, but it was ALL beautiful. Your new tiger stripes are a reminder of what your body can do; wear them proudly! It may take a while to accept your new body. It certainly took me a bit, but my scars and stripes gave me three beautiful girls that I love fiercely. My body is fierce and beautiful and so is yours mama, love it! Embrace it!

-Risa

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